By Lindsay Wallick
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July 15, 2019
According to the Mayo Clinic, Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. But, it is so much more than just that. It’s more than people could ever understand. BPD impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It’s more than just a pattern of unstable intense relationships, a very messed up self-image, extreme emotional swings and impulsiveness. If you are reading this and wondering if you have Borderline then here are a list of symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (and what to do about it): 1. Extreme emotional swings Emotions are a normal part of being human. But for those with BPD it can feel like an extreme rollercoaster that NEVER ends. One minute you are happy and hugging your loved one and the next you are throwing plates at them. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours. 2. Making mountains out of molehills A commonality amongst those with BPD is turning little things into big things. Turning small events like a traffic ticket into a week-long cascade of negativity and rage is an example of a situation that most people would brush off but those with BPD won’t. 3. Long term feelings of emptiness Common of those who are depressed- people with BPD often talk as if there’s a hole inside them. They sometimes talk as if they are nobody or they aren’t “worth anything”. Since it is a very undesirable feeling they try to “fill the void” with other things like sex or drugs, while at the end of the day they realize nothing seems to fill it. 4. Explosive anger/rage Intense and utter rage is the bedmate of those with BPD. They swing from one extreme emotion to often ones involving anger. But not the anger most people display but the type to seem like a bomb went off (screaming as loud as they can, breaking things, stomping, physically fighting, etc.) They can often find it hard to control themselves. 5. Fear of being abandoned Those with Borderline Personality Disorder fear for their life that others will leave them. Even the thought or suspicion of someone leaving them (like when a spouse arrives late from work) can trigger an upheaval of disturbing emotions. This can cause many of them to “cling for life” to the other person making them seem needy or desperate. They are simply just fearful of being left alone, which can often do the opposite and push others away. 6. Unstable relationships Short and intense relationships are normal to those with Borderline. Due to the extreme nature of their emotions, they seem to find themselves in relationships that are equally as extreme. Falling in love quickly only to be disappointed soon after. Your relationships are either excellent or terrible with no in between. 7. Unclear or shifting self-image With BPD, your sense of self is typically unclear and hard to think about. From love to hate of yourself within one minute. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. 8. Unstable life Change is very common in life. But for those with BPD they can find themselves changing jobs, schools, hobbies, friends, goals, beliefs, sexual identity, etc., more frequently than most. 9. Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, (especially when you’re upset). Things like impulsively spending money you don’t have, binge eating, driving recklessly, stealing, having random sex, or overdoing drugs and/or alcohol. 10. Physically hurt themselves Having suicidal behavior, cutting yourself, or intentionally burning yourself is a common symptom of BPD. Making threats or actual attempts causes them relationship problems often. 11. Paranoia Obsessing about the motive of others is a symptom of BPD. They can often think that others are out to get them or that their world is ending. 12. Losing touch with reality Feeling dissociated, or disconnected from actual reality is a sign of BPD. Feeling foggy, headed, spaced, or outside of your body is a symptom of Borderline. If you experience more than a few of these symptoms then this could be a sign that you have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you suspect this to be the case then Dialectical Behavior Therapy could help you immensely. Dialectical behavior therapy is a comprehensive, evidence-based treatment that was primarily used to treat Borderline Personality Disorder but has also proven successful in treating mood disorders, suicidal ideation and for change in behavioral patterns such as substance abuse. Its core elements consist of mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation. Individuals can expect to participate in three therapeutic settings such a classroom where individual is taught behavioral skills by role-playing new ways of interacting with people, individual therapy with a certified DBT therapist where those learned behavioral skills are adapted to a person's personal life challenges and phone coaching in which a person can call their therapist to receive guidance on coping with a difficult at the moment situation. Contact us at Meraki Wellness to schedule a free 30-minute introductory call or free hour-long appointment to find out if what we offer can help you, especially if you have many symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. Click here to schedule one. Resources “Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).” HelpGuide.org.